I'VE BEEN THINKING OF WRITIN' SOMETHIN' LIKE THIS FOR QUITE SO LONG BUT MY FICKLE MIND MADE ME END UP TO NOTHING. MAYBE BECAUSE OF THE THOUGHT THAT HALF OF WHAT I SAY MIGHT BE MEANINGLESS TO YOU. BUT NOW, SOME INNER FORCE DICTATES ME TO MADE UP MY MIND AND DO IT UNHESITANTLY.

WELL, I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHERE TO START, BUT DEFINITELY I JUST WANT TO EXPRESS MY SELF IN A VERY HONEST WAY. THINGS MIGHT HAVE TURNED UP RIGHT OR WRONG BETWEEN YOU AND ME, ESPECIALLY THOSE THINGS I'VE BEEN TELLING YOU LATELY... HOW I FELT FOR YOU NOWADAYS, KNOWING THAT IT'S HARD FOR YOU TO BELIEVE THIS KIND OF GUY I AM. NEITHER DO I EXPECT MYSELF TO FEEL THIS WAY.  I NEVER CHOSE THIS, NOR DID I MAKE YOU A CHOICE. THE FEELING GREW INSIDE OF ME WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE... NOW I'M PRETTY SURE WHAT IT IS AND WHO'S TO BE BLAME FOR THIS? IS IT THE CLOSENESS WE HAD? STORIES AND SECRETS WE'VE SHARED? HEARTACHES AND HAPPINESS WE FELT? OR THE QUALITIES YOU POSSESS THAT I'M LOOKING FOR?

NOW  I'M NOT GOING TO DENY THAT I WAS AWARE OF YOUR BEAUTY, BUT THE POINT IS THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR BEAUTY, AS I GOT TO KNOW YOU MUST REALIZE THAT BEAUTY WAS THE LEAST OF YOUR QUALITIES. I BECAME FASCINATED BY YOUR GOODNESS. I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT WAS HAPPENING TO ME AND IT WAS ONLY WHEN I BEGAN TO FEEL ACTUAL PHYSICAL PAIN EVERYTIME WHEN YOU'RE WITH SOMEONE ELSE. THERE'S JUST SOMETHING WITHIN YOU THAT MADE ME FEEL THIS WAI AND ONLY MY HEART KNOWS WHAT IT IS. ALL I FEEL NOW IS THAT YOU'RE THE KIND OF PERSON WHO DESERVES TO BE LOVED, TO CHERISH AND TREASURE FOR ALWAYS...

YOU KNOW ME VERY WELL, HOW I BEHAVE WITH GIRLS, MY UNFOLDED ATTITUDE SOMEHOW YOU SEE AND SOMETIMES I TOLD YOU. I'M ALWAYS AN OPEN BOOK TO YOU THAT YOU DON'T NEED TO READ AND RE-READ OVER AND OVER AGAIN... ISN'T IT ONE FORM OF HONESTY? WHY CANT YOU BELIEVE WHEN I SAY THAT IM FALLING FOR YOU AND I LOVE YOU? OF COURSE YOU WANT TO SEE IT AND YOU WANT ME TO PROVE IT! I UNDERSTAND COZ I DONT SEEM TO BE TRUE. IT ALWAYS LOOKS LIKE IM JUST PLAYING ALL THE TIME, JUST JOKING ALL THE TIME YOU WANT THE TRUTH? ILL TELL YOU. SINCE THE DAY I REALIZED THIS FEELINS FOR YOU I WAS TRYING TO HOLD BACK BECAUSE I KNOW FOR SURE THAT YOU WONT BELIEVE ME AND YOU MAY THINK THAT JUST BECAUSE I GET HURT BY YOUR FRIEND AND THEN ILL TURN TO YOU JUST TO NEUTRALIZED THE PAIN THEN IM GONNA LOOK STUPID AND HOW YOU WILL LAUGH AT ME AND THEN I LOSE A FRIEND. YES, IM AFRAID OF LOSING YOU, SO I DECIDED TO KEEP EVERYTHING FOR MYSELF. DAYS PASSED BY AND I FOUND MYSELF MISSING YOU EVERYTIME  YOURE NOT AROUND (YOU NEVER KNEW IT COZ IM ASHAMED TO ADMIT IT.)

AND SO THE FEELING OVERFLOWS THAT I CANT BEAR IT ANYMORE, YOURE JUST LIKE THE MISTY RAIN COMING SOFTLY BUT FLOODING THE RIVER. WILL IT BE BETTER IF ILL LOVE YOU FOREVER, OR IT WILL BE BETTER IF ILL JUST B EA DREAMER?

I LOVE YOU I REALLY DO ALTHOUGH IT'S GONNA BE A LONG LONG WAY BEFORE I MAKE YOU BELIEVE IN ME. BUT SOMEDAY I WISH THAT SOMEHOW I COULD TOUGH YOUR HEART. I DO BELIEVE THAT TO FIGHT AND HOPE FOR YOUR LOVE IS BETTER, THAN HOPING NOT AT ALL AND DIE AS A LOSER. I SAID ONCE BEFORE THAT I CANNOT AFFORD ANOTHER HEARTACHE,  I  DONT CARE IF ILL BE THIS TIME ANYWAY, THE RAIN DOESN'T FALL ON ONE ROOF ALONE. IF EVER, IT WILL BE THE HARDEST LUCK FOR ME AND IVE GOT NOTHING TO DO BUT TO FACE THE MUSIC AND KEEP MY SPIRIT UP. I WISH ITS TRUE WHEN THE SAY THAT LOVE IS LIKE A YOUNG RICE, TRANSPLANTED STILL IT GROWS.

IF ILL LOVE YOU NOW & FOREVER, WILL YOU BE MY DESTINY? THEN JUST LET ME DO IT LET IT BE.

                                                                                                                                  By: Kaze